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Don't Celebrate Till It's Over
Won't Clean Up By Itself
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8th-Nov-2007 06:36 pm - Third Person Post
Amy the Vain
Now I've heard that there was a secret chord
That David played, and it pleased the Lord
But...you don't really care for music, do you?

Autumn had swept over the city by the time they got around to getting together, just to spend some time, like they had before all of the things that had pushed them together and torn them apart just as quickly. The day was brisk, cold enough to make the hair stand up on the back of your neck but not quite the right temperature that warrants a really heavy winter coat. It was only November, after all. They sat in two deck chairs on opposite sides of a small round table on her front porch, a soft breeze was playing with the air around them and the leaves on the lawn before them were swept into the air and then fell again, like some broken spirit, to the ground.

If you had walked by on the sidewalk you would've thought things up there on that porch were picture perfect. But from where they were sitting they couldn't tell that the colors they wore complimented each other just as much, if not more, then they complimented themselves. Her blonde hair was down around her face, straightened, as she'd actually had time for such a thing on that day. An orange hoodie was keeping her warm, and deep blue jeans matched the cream colored shoes that were tapping gently against the wood of the structure they sat on. Her green eyes stood out with such colors, but were nothing compared to the blue that shone in his. They always stood out, of course, but nothing brought them out more than his deep brown jacket and the brick color of the house behind them. No, they had no idea just how perfectly matched they were, right down to the way they were sitting. She was leaned off to the side, her cheek resting in the palm of her hand and he was sitting back comfortably, eyes shut for the moment while he listened to the continuous babble of his daughter who happened to be sitting in his companion's lap at the moment.

Neither one of the two parents could fathom that it had already been nearly four months since the birth of their child. They could barely wrap their minds around the fact that she was theirs, and that they had created her together. Little Finn, with blonde curly hair and eyes that matched her fathers exactly, would probably never know how hard it was for her parents to stay friends after all that had happened between them. She would never know the fights, the tears, and the pain that had come from them giving the relationship their all for her. But that was okay, they didn't want her to know, she would be better off that way.

It goes like this
The fourth, the fifth
The minor fall and the major lift
And the baffled King composing Hallelujah

At some point Greg opened his eyes and looked over to see that Amy had hers shut, but not clamped shut like she would do if you were bugging her. She was calm, and was enjoying the breeze that was messing with her hair while she held onto Finn's tiny body protectively. He smiled and looked out at the street, no one was around, it was quiet and he wasn't used to such things. It was nice, he thought, to not have people screaming stats in your ear all of the time, and to not have Cuddy breathing down your neck to get your clinic hours done. Even if the house wasn't theirs, even if it was her house with Johnny, it was a nice place to visit. The man reached up and ruffled his hair, then sighed and glanced over at the baby in Amy's lap. She stopped what she was doing and he could see her mother crack an eye open, wondering why she'd quit bouncing, then the tiny girl burst into laughter and the smile that exploded across Amy's face was enough to make him want to just hold her and never let her go. He had to remind himself that she wasn't his to hold anymore.

He did his best, with his one good leg, to scoot the chair closer to the blonde's and he reached into her lap to pull their child into his own. She squealed, and her golden curls shifted slightly on top of her tiny head. They couldn't realize how much of a perfect combination of the two of them she was. With her mothers blonde, curly hair and pale skin and her fathers spectacular blue eyes, she would be beautiful. They knew she already was. "Your mother," Greg said and leaned down to press his forehead gently to Finns, "Is insane."

Finn waved her arms around above her head and blew a few spit bubbles, Amy just laughed, "She's going to be the smartest woman the world has ever seen," He exclaimed and lifted her slightly into the air until she burst into another fit of laughter. Amy looked from her daughter to her former darling and smiled, because when he said that there was no trace of the usual jokester in his voice, and she loved him dearly for that.

Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah
Well your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew ya

After another twenty minutes or so of Greg making faces and thus causing the two most important women in his life to laugh heavily they decided that Finn should really be inside, away from the cold. The house was laid out in a way that suggested the young mother had been planning for a home like it for all of her life. The living room opened up into the kitchen, and it was bright and airy, with warm colors and comfortable furniture. It was the type of home that you might expect for a young couple and their child. And honestly, Greg couldn't see himself living in a place like it. He followed Amy into the kitchen, and watched as she set Finn on the counter, always keeping a hand around her waist as she reached into the fridge and pulled out a sippy cup with what appeared to be milk inside of it. His cane thudded softly against the hard wood floor and he stopped next to the older blonde and gazed over at her, "Mind if I do it?"

"Nope," She said softly and placed the cup in his outstretched hand. But Finn seemed reluctant to drink when he offered it to her. "Finn baby," Amy cooed as Greg tried again and again to get the girl to take the cup. She could tell he was getting a bit flustered with the task, but she wanted him to be able to do it, "Show mommy and daddy how to drink okay?" She stuck out her lip and her daughter giggled a bit, "We don't know how!" The teenager threw her hands into the air above her head and Greg watched as Finn opened her mouth and stared at him.

He glanced over at Amy again and she smirked, "That's an interesting trick, play dumb so our three month old can show us up."

"Yeah," The girl shrugged and watched Greg tip the cup for the baby to drink out of, "She takes after her father."

She tied you to her kitchen chair
She broke your throne and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah

The man had learned, from spending the day with Amy and their little girl while Johnny was having a 'boys only' day with his friends that there were a lot of things that he couldn't do for and with his daughter. He couldn't hold her and walk at the same time for instance, what with his cane it made keeping his balance difficult, and he was afraid he might drop her even though Amy assured him he wouldn't. He couldn't chase her when she rolled around on the floor...hell it was hard for him to even sit on the floor. The girl he had loved for so long always had to help him up, and though he wouldn't admit it, it was slightly embarrassing.

He could change her diapers though, and while that's not exactly something one looks forward to, he was glad he could at least do something to help. And when they put her down for her nap in the afternoon, after she was done drinking her milk, he found that leaning over the side of the crib and placing her gently within it, and then draping a blanket across her tummy wasn't as difficult as he thought it would be. The pair of them stood there for a while and watched Finn fall asleep, watched her tiny hands go limp with exhaustion as her blue eyes drifted shut. She looked like some sort of miniature princess, lying there against her pink satin bedding. Greg watched with his eyebrows creased in wonder and thoughtfulness, and he could practically feel the love radiating from the girl next to him. There was never a day that went by where he thought to remember that this girl, this girl that he cared for so much was dealing with a baby, a relationship, high school, friends, and him all at once.

She just couldn't believe he was still around. Amy had always known that being a father wasn't exactly interesting to Greg but she hoped that he at least enjoyed knowing that he'd changed a life forever. Not just cured their diseases and healed their wounds. And when he slipped his arm around her shoulders she didn't shrug away.

Well darling, I've been here before
I've seen this room and I've walked these floors
You know, I used to live alone before I knew ya
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
And love is not a victory march
It's a cold, and it's a broken hallelujah

Once back downstairs to the kitchen Greg began to flip open cupboard doors searching for peanut butter and jelly. Amy watched him closely, and pulled herself up onto a counter. Once there she began to swing her legs back and forth gently and hum a song that she had stuck in her head. He watched her out of the corner of his eye as he made his sandwich and leaned against the counter to much on it. She pushed her hair behind her ears and gazed out of the window into the backyard which was filled to the brim with leaves, if you'd have asked her to she would've bet money that you could practically swim through all of them.

A silence settled over the room, and cloaked the pair of them in its arms. It wasn't an uneasy silence at all, just a natural one that fills the gaps between words that are weighed down with meaning and importance.


After a few minutes of sitting there in that warm silence Amy seemed to get fed up with it. Greg barely blinked and she had hopped off of her seat and pushed out the back door, he carefully placed his sandwich on the counter and went to see what she was up to, and when he saw her he stopped dead and looked at his feet to laugh. The blonde had apparently rushed out the door to throw herself into the leaves that coated the once green area, and she was still just lying there, sprawled out in the orange and yellow and brown leaves. Her eyes were shut and there was a smile across her face. She was practically bathing in the sunlight and all he could do was stand there and watch her. Until she looked over at him, "You should come join me!"

He sighed and bit his tongue as a grin crept up over his face. She couldn't possibly know what she was doing to him, she was young, and such a fool when it came to the hearts of the men who cared for her. And as he watched her lying there, throwing leaves into the air above her face and reveling in the feeling of them hitting her cheeks and forehead, he couldn't help but wonder if she would ever find out what it was like to feel so broken, and so confused. He wondered if she understood how incredibly lost he was when it came to her, and Finn, and what he was allowed to do and what would be a foolish thing to do. Every word he spoke to her, and ever movement he made had to be considered, and he wasn't exactly used to doing that.

She helped him to sit, when he finally made his way over to her, and he leaned back on the palms of his hands, with his legs stretched out in front of him while she went back to her position on her back beside him. Her eyes were closed again and he took the time to look at her for what had been the first time in months. The way her eyes creased just slightly in the center of her eyelids from the sunlight that was attempting to get through them. The way her hands rested above her head, so pale and gentle in the sunlight. And the way the hollow of her throat flowed so smoothly on her body. He reached out and touched her cheek, and while the feeling was unexpected she didn't flinch, and she didn't tell him to go away. Amy, of course, couldn't see the way his eyes were looking upon her face, and she couldn't know that in his mind he was considering running a finger along her lips, or running all of them through her hair. She only knew they were friends, and that she cared for him deeply, though she wasn't in love. But God, if only she could know how much he was in love with her.

Well there was a time when you let me know
What was really going on below but now you never show that to me do ya?
You remember when I moved in you?
The holy dove was moving too
And every breath you drew was hallelujah

The day, in her opinion, had been wonderful. And she stood on the porch, hair blowing around her face while Johnny wrapped his arms around her waist and leaned his head against her shoulder, waving as Greg put on his helmet and clipped his cane into the holder on his bike. In his opinion though, the day was not nearly as long as it should've been. In fact it would've lasted forever if it were up to him. But it couldn't possibly. The arrival of her boyfriend had caused him to snap back to a reality where he knew she was in love with someone else, and he knew that it would be Johnny that held her as she fell asleep. It was hard to watch them together, but it was good to know that she was happy and taken care of. They'd invited him to stay for dinner but he didn't know if he could handle watching them cook together, and eating with them like the third wheel that he knew he was. It would be far too hard to get through.

He sat on his bike, pulled on his gloves and looked back up at the deck one last time. She was standing there, still glowing in the light of the day while Johnny pressed his forehead against her shoulder. Greg was sure he would be out of his line of vision, so before he started the bike, and before he pulled out of the driveway he took a chance and leapt for the one thing he hadn't been able to say to her for such an incredibly long time. He looked her straight in the eye and mouthed the words 'I Love You' and from the moment her smile faltered, and her eyes turned a deeper green with heart ache he knew that she felt something. Though he wasn't sure what, and he wasn't about to guess.

Hallelujah, Hallelujah

A few days later, in the evening, Amy was sitting in the middle of the living room on the floor with her daughter, who was sucking on the head of a doll that squeaked and was used for teething. The day had been a calm one, it was a Tuesday, her favorite day of the week. She'd had no homework, and had learned that she'd aced her latest history test. Nothing, in her mind, could go wrong on a day like that, it was even fairly warm outside.

Then came the sound of a motorcycle approaching, and she didn't pay any mind to it until it slowed down, and then cut out. She kissed Finn on the forehead and stood, walking to the window and peering out into the driveway, and sure enough he was there, pulling off his gloves and taking his cane in hand to make his way to the front door. The girl went back to her child and pulled her into her arms, not daring to leave her unattended in the middle of the living room floor. She went to the door and stepped out onto the porch, waiting with a puzzled expression until Greg was standing before her, looking at his shoes and off to the tree in the side yard. It was clear that he didn't want to meet her gaze.

Amy rocked Finn gently in her arms and waited patiently for him to speak. His hair was uncombed again, and his clothes weren't pressed which to anyone else would seem normal but to her it was a sign that he was too worried about something to iron his clothes. When he did speak, the words that flowed from his mouth nearly sent shivers down her spine, but all she could do was shake her head no.

"I need to talk to you...is Johnny home?"

So maybe there is a God above
But all I ever learned from love is how to shoot somebody who outdrew you
It's not a cry that you hear at night, it's not somebody who's seen the light
It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah
30th-Jul-2007 07:30 pm - The Trip #2 (Amy)
Amy the Vain
The shower is in the basement.
Wake early; gather clean clothes.
Tip toes but the floor still creaks beneath them.
Go down the stairs, careful not to fall.
The room is so small.
Shower elevated two inches higher than the floor.
Shut the door and strip bare.
Pull the cord on the heat lamp.
I'm bathed in red light.
Step inside on the wooden floor.
Gaps drain the water out of the bottom.
Test the waters and adjust the knobs.
Scalding hot water.
Trickles down the small of my back.
Red light makes the drops of water look like blood.
Nail polish glitters and glows rouge.
Eyes closed.
I can still feel that red.
Floor creaks above my head.
Someone in the kitchen.
I pay no attention, drowning in the heat.
Someone on the stairs.
Heavy foot-falls, I've an idea.
Door opens, eyes are still closed.
I must've forgotten to lock it.
I hear the brush of fabric on skin.
It hits the floor with a dull thud.
I rely on all senses but sight.
His scent lingers on the air.
Sleepy, musky, tear filled scent.
His feet hit the floor lightly.
Curtains pulled back.
I feel a rush of cold air.
His hand on my back reassures me.
I lean into him, skin to skin contact feels so good.
Eyes flutter open.
Turn in his arms to face him.
Bathed in that red light he looks almost devilish.
The water gets warmer.
Burning a trail across my shoulders, down my legs.
The fact that he's so close is intoxicating.
Shampoo is rubbed lightly into my hair.
I wasn't even aware that he'd moved until now.
Eyes shut again to let the feeling be free.
Soft fingertips massaging my scalp.
My lips form a smile, I'm lost completely in him.
When I gather enough courage to look at him once more,
Red bubbles have fallen down to my shoulders.
He rinses my hair carefully.
Kisses my forehead.
Moves to do his own.
The shower is tiny but I move.
Into the corner, I just watch.
The way he moves, not graceful but unique.
Perfectly him.
It's over too soon.
He takes my hand, guides me carefully.
Don't slip and fall, he says.
I smile.
Reach up and yank the chain.
Heat lamp turns off.
But it's still hot.
And he's still there with me.
24th-Apr-2007 09:58 pm - Amy's Post
Amy the Vain
It's raining, cloudy and breezy outside, my favorite kind of day.
But Johnny isn't home, and being in the rain without him is worse than staying inside.
So I do. But I get bored quickly.
I head into the main room and go over to the TV.
Punch the on button and stare as an image of a newscast flickers across the screen.
More on Virginia Tech.
Not that it isn't important; it's just not what I want to be exposed to on a day like today.
On a perfect day like today.
I don't even bother to look at the DVD as I pull it off the top of the pile and slide it into the player.
What a shame.
The volume is down and for a moment I think I may have forgotten why.
Then I remember that we talked last night.
Before the sleep and the nightmares and the waking to the many aches and pains that seem to preoccupy my mind.
I don't remember exactly what we talked about and frankly I'm not in the mood too.
I skip the previews.
Hit play before the menu even has a chance to come up.
I like a surprise every now and then.
What a shame.
Images flicker to life and the first thing I'm faced with are his eyes.
Bright blue eyes that shimmer like they always have.
Like they always will in my memories.
I haven't heard his voice in a couple of weeks.
It's been longer since I've seen those eyes.
It occurs to me that I shouldn't care.
It occurs to me that I really don't.
It's just that he should've called, or I should've called him.
It's just that I don't think he cares anymore.
I watch one episode as the minutes tick by on the clock.
I laugh at his snide remarks.
Smile at his facial expressions.
I feel the way I felt before he ever knew my name.
Somehow that strikes me as wrong, but I know it's not.
Another episode passes and now I'm not laughing.
I'm studying the way he moves, and the way he watches people.
He watched me for a long time.
I think he's stopped now.
I catch on to one thing in particular.
And I begin to wonder if he did that to me.
I wonder why I never saw it before.
He never looks anyone in the eyes.
Unless he's got something important to say.
Something that he feels shouldn't be ignored; something that he thinks you should think about and consider carefully.
I realize that it doesn't matter if he ever looked at me that way.
He probably never will again anyway.
This realization doesn't faze me as Johnny sits down next to me on the couch.
Puts his arm around my shoulder and watches with me.
We laugh together.
We sit in silence during the important parts.
He squeezes my hand as the theme song chimes the end of the episode.
I look at him and he looks at me.
He doesn't even need to say anything to make me know that he shouldn't be ignored.
Doesn't need to speak for me to know that I should consider him carefully.
I don't need to hear his voice or see his eyes to know he loves me.
That's the difference.
That's the important thing.
6th-Mar-2007 09:59 pm - 3rd Person Post
Amy the Vain
It had been a long day, what with trying to keep all of his colleagues out of his hair and all, so it didn't help that Greg House couldn't sleep. He had been lying in bed for about an hour and a half since the three musketeers had left his apartment, dumbfounded by their druggy boss. So it was no surprise that he had gotten out of bed, put on his slippers, grabbed his cane and headed downstairs to the little café outside of his apartment. It was open at all hours and run by a woman who only seemed to speak some dialect of mandarin Chinese. In other words, she was the type who wouldn't question him, and he liked that at three in the morning.

He had carried his coffee back into his apartment and taken a seat on the sofa. He set his coffee on the side table and reached for the remote, and somewhere along the line he drifted off to sleep. When he woke an hour later it was to the sound of the front door closing, keys jangling and fabric rustling as it was hung over the coat rack. Greg could barely make out the figure of a young woman, dressed casually in pajamas, her hair strewn all over the place. When she turned her face to him and sighed he immediately looked at the floor, "Why are you here?"

She kicked her shoes off, kicked them so hard they hit the wall and shook the shelves, "You should know," She didn’t spit her words at him like someone who had been hurt. The girl didn’t growl or have any undertone that his experienced ears could pick up. She sounded tired, exhausted really, and she sounded extremely sad, "I got a call at noon yesterday from Cuddy," He wanted to scream but he didn't, he was fixed on the way her tears shone in the lamplight, "She told me you had brain cancer and she told me that you were dying."

"She should've let me tell you about this," He sighed and messed with his sock.

"And then I get another call, from Cuddy," The blonde took a deep breath and placed a hand on her swollen stomach, "Telling me that you faked the cancer so you could get high."

"She really should've let me call yo-,"

"Why?!" Amy screamed it with everything she had as tears started rolling down her face all over again, "So that you could've told me more lies? So that you could've let me believe that the father of my child was dying?"

"I would've told you the truth," He shouted and stood, forgetting his cane. The man winced in pain and grabbed his leg as he fell back onto the couch.

She didn't move, "You would've told me that you're in so much pain that you have to commit a crime in order to feel good again?"


"Do I really hurt you that much?"


Her gaze fell to a crack in the floor, and tears followed the path closely, "On the other hand," He whispered it and she looked up to find him standing and looking straight back at her, moving closer as he continued to hiss in pain, "If I did have cancer," House stopped inches from where she stood and he could feel her breath on his forearms, "Would this meeting have been held with different intentions?"

She stared up at him, tears rolling from the corners of her eyes down the bridge of her nose and dropping silently onto her lips and chin, "Would you let me kiss you?" Greg leaned down and tilted his head ever so slightly as her eyes narrowed and stared into his own, and he kissed her ever so slightly. A moment passed before she pulled away and she stared at him silently, he could see her mind begging her to touch her lips, and he could see her heart screaming that it had been betrayed.

But before he could say anything, or do anything to make it right she was gone.
And he wasn't sure if she would ever come back.
4th-Dec-2006 04:16 pm(no subject)
Amy the Vain
So I'm sitting at the table drinking a cup of coffee this morning and reading the paper when Amy comes in wearing a pair of jeans and her bra. She's staring at herself like she's changed colors and then sighs and looks up at me and places her hands on her hips, "Do my boobs look bigger to you?"

I just let my mind wrap itself around that while I stare at her chest, "I guess so," I squint a bit and take another drink of coffee, "Want an exam?"

She looks like she thinks I'm serious and then she frowns at me, "Not funny," Then she goes to the cupboard and starts setting random foods on the counter, "Don't we have any graham crackers?"

This time I'm the one frowning, "You really are pregnant aren't you?"

For a second I'm scared she's going to burst into tears but then she just goes back to what she was doing. I love that she puts up with my crap. But hate that she turned her back to me again.

"I don't think I like what I'm wearing," She sighs and opens up a can of peaches, sticks a fork in them and turns back around. As soon as she pulls one out of the can to take a bite juice drips onto her stomach and she screams, "Great!"

And she walks away before I get a chance to help her clean it off.

But she comes back in short shorts and a t-shirt. I blink, "You spill on your stomach and change your whole outfit?"

She turns and looks at me, "That doesn't make sense?"

I shrug and take a sip of my coffee. I can feel her glaring at the back of my head, so I turn around and glare right back at her. Her eyebrows crease and I grin, she huffs in annoyance and flops down on the couch, "I'd say you're having mood swings."

"I am not."

I stood and went around to face her. She put a pillow over her face. I took it from her and she frowned; it was more cute then threatening so I flopped down next to her and put my hand on her knee. She glanced over at me and sighed, "This is hard already."

"Yep. Can't wait till you're big as a hot air balloon," She smacked my arm and I laughed. I don't think I've told her how much I'm actually looking forward to it all.

Especially since I get to be with her the entire time.
25th-Nov-2006 07:55 pm(no subject)
Amy the Vain
I'd been curled up on Greg's couch for three hours before he finally gave up waiting for me to talk first. Up until the moment he handed me a cup of coffee and put his arm around my shoulders I had been completely silent, not quite sure of what I was doing there. I set the mug down on the table and leaned into his shoulder, "Caffeine is bad for the baby."

He frowned at first, and then lightened up a bit, "Figures that you don't give a crap about yourself. You've always had that 'maternal instinct' disease haven't you?"

I crack a tiny smile, enough to boost his ego, "Sure you want to be here?" What the hell was I supposed to say to that, of course I was. I didn't answer though; I only burrowed deeper into the folds of his shirt and shut my eyes. I think he took the hint.

We took a back road, gonna look at the stars
We took a back road in my car
Down to the ocean, it's only water and sand
And in the ocean we'll hold hands

"I'm terrified," It was the first time I admitted it aloud. Everything was crashing down around me. But in a way it seemed fitting, Olaf left his family for me, so of course we would break apart eventually. I never thought it'd be this soon, or that I'd be pregnant with a baby that may not even be his.

House sighed, looked at me the way he always looks when he doesn't exactly know what to say. He's never been good at expressing emotion, so I forgive him immediately. But then he says something I hadn't expected him to say ever, "I love you," The words ring in my ears. I turn my head to look up at him, to search his blue eyes for that spark that says he's really there with me. Really saying it because he means it, and it's there, it doesn't even falter. It's just there.

But I don't really like you, apologetically dressed
In the best but on a heart beat
Without an answer, the thunder speaks for the sky
And on the cold wet dirt I cry
And on the cold wet dirt I cry

I wonder how I could've ever possibly missed this before. I'd seen the look many times but never had I seen the emotion he put into it. And he knew that I was seeing it for the first time, because his eyes were also begging for me to say the same, "I love you too," I murmured and he smiled. Not that big goofy grin he gives when he's right, or when he feels that he's won.

It was real.

Don't you wanna come with me?
Don't you wanna feel my bones, on your bones?
It's only natural

"Well," House said quietly looking back to the mug, "If you won't drink your coffee then what do you suggest we do to make you feel safe and warm?"

"I don't know," I curl back into his arms and smile, "What would you suggest?"

"Well we could always make out like teenagers and jump every time someone comes up the stairs. That fits your age group right?"

And I just laughed. Real laughter.

Cinematic vision ensued
Like the holiest dream
Someone calling, an angel whispers my name
But the message relayed is the same
Wait till tomorrow you'll be fine
But it's all gone to the dogs in my mind

After that we stayed there for a while, in that comfortable silence that was created when two people finally come to the realization that there's more there then they thought. Sometimes it's awkward, other times it seems absurd and can be laughed off.

But neither one of us could stop smiling; and when Greg reached down and kissed the top of my head, I smiled wider. Then he tickled me and I flipped off of him and to the other side of the couch, he laughed this time, "Come on back," He motioned and I shook my head, pouting, "Come on are you really going to sacrifice the best seat in the house just because I might tickle you again," I nodded.

"You really are difficult," He said moving closer, putting his hands on my arms and trying to prop himself up. He hissed in pain and fell between my knees; I shrieked and sat up, pulling him into my lap and kissing his forehead softly.

I always hear them when the dead of night
Comes calling to save me from this right
But they can never wrong this right

I grabbed his bottle of pain killers off of the table and popped the cap, giving him one to ease the pain, "Are you alright?"

He was still grimacing but he nodded and swallowed the small white pill, then looked up at me with a pained expression on his face, "I'm sorry, I'm not as fun as most guys. But I make a killer apple pie."

I shook my head and leaned down to kiss him, shocked with the reaction he gave of pulling my head closer for a harder kiss, "It's a lot easier to do this right side up on a bed," He panted after pulling away and gazing up at me for a moment. I smiled and helped him sit up, "That was a hint you know."

Don't you wanna come with me?
Don't you wanna feel my bones, on your bones?
It's only natural
Don't you wanna swim with me?
Don't you wanna feel my skin on your skin?
It's only natural

How exactly we got to the bedroom and got undressed is beyond me, but the next thing I can recall is laying on House, wrapped in a sheet and as warm as I've ever been in the middle of November. He wasn't asleep but he was pretending.

I could see, with the way his face moved, that he was thinking about me leaving again. I reached up and ran a hand through his untidy hair, shifting a little but taking care not to hurt his leg. He stiffened at the touch, so I moved my fingers down to trace his lips. Wondering if it would tickle him.

It didn't, but it did get him to open his eyes, "You're pretty," He smiled and I laughed,

"So are you."

I never had a lover, I never had a soul
I never had a good time, I never got cold
Don’t' you wanna come with me, don't you wanna feel my bones
On your bones?
It's only natural
Don't you wanna swim with me, don't you wanna feel my skin
On your skin?
It's only natural

I laid my head down in the crook of his neck and he kissed my shoulder, "Don't leave," He whispered. It was barely audible, even over the silence of the room, but I heard it. I leaned up on my elbow and gazed down at him, his blue eyes pleading with me again, for anything to know that I wasn't going anywhere.

"I won't," I grinned and kissed his cheek, "I love you."

Don't you wanna come with me?
Don't you wanna feel my bones on your bones?
It's only natural
Come and take a swim with me
Don't you wanna feel my skin on your skin?
It's only natural


I do not own the lyrics to the song "Bones" by The Killers
25th-Nov-2006 04:55 pm(no subject)
Amy the Vain
It's hard to argue when
You won't stop making sense
But my tongue still misbehaves and it
Keeps digging my own grave

Two days ago Amy came home from what I presume to be House's apartment. I smelled him on her, and I wasn't pleased. I knew she wasn't all that happy with me either though, since it did seem that I had been flirting with one of her closest friends.

Too bad I couldn't get a word in edge-wise. And when I did I said the wrong things.

"I can't believe what you did to me," She whispered after most of the fighting had stopped, I could see in her eyes that she knew she was being a hypocrite, but it still hurt her.

"At least I didn't screw someone to spite you."

Like that. That was the wrong thing to say.

With my hands open
And my eyes open
I just keep hoping, that your heart opens

She walked out. Went to the grocery store and came back three hours later. She can take a hell of a long time when she's in a bad mood. I think I screwed up.

It was cold in the house that night as she slammed the drawers and cupboards around. I was reminded of the first time we split, and I hoped it wouldn't again come to that. It was cold because she made it cold; with her glances and the way she shrugged away when I tried to kiss her goodnight.

Why would I sabotage, the best thing that I have
Well it makes it easier to know exactly what I want
With my hands open
And my eyes open
I just keep hoping that your heart opens

I decided to sleep on the couch. For my safety and hers. The next morning I noticed she was acting differently; she ate an omelet instead of a cookie for starters. Either I had depressed her enough for her to stop eating junk food, or something big had happened.

I already knew she cheated on me with him. And if it weren't for the fact that I don't know where he lives, and that none of his fellow doctors will tell me, he'd probably be six feet under right now.

Even if it did break Amy's heart, I'm sick of being beaten at this game. Why can't I ever hold onto her well enough?

It's not as easy as wanting it all to be right
Gotta be more then hoping it's right
I wanna hear you laugh like your really mean it
Collapse into me tired with joy

I woke up the next morning.

She was gone.

I do not own the lyrics to "Hands Open" by Snow Patrol
25th-Nov-2006 03:47 pm - House Post #2
Amy the Vain
I wake up and it's oddly dark in the room; like I'm up long before I should be. Sure enough I roll over and see "5:49" blinking at me from the shadows. A warm hand touches my shoulder and usually my first reaction would be to grab my cane and kick some ass, but then I remember it's her.

Blinking a lot I realize that she's dressed already and her hair is wet. She never blows it dry. Her blonde hair frames her face perfectly as she reaches down and brushes her finger against my cheek, I'm not ready to hear it but she says it anyway, "I have to go, House."

I want to beg her to stay, tell her she's better off here anyway and if nothing else she should stay because I'm a doctor. She'd never have to work again. But I keep my mouth shut, because she's still lost, I can see it in her eyes.

If I had a heart, that would've broken it.

This time, this place
Misused, mistakes
Too long, too late
Who was I to make you wait?
Just one chance, just one breath, just in case there's just one left
Cause you know

She leans down and kisses my forehead; not my lips, not my cheek even. She wants to act like nothing ever happened. I can take that, for today at least.

I'm not sure if my mind really registers the fact that she's left. That the front door closed and her footsteps faded down the hall. I don't know if she's crying or smiling because she left me. I don't know why I'm crying.

Did I really think she'd stay forever?

I love you
I've loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long

The next day I spot her at the supermarket. Her hair is up in a clippie, one of the ones she hates to loose but only uses when she's feeling like shit. The only makeup on her face is eyeliner and maybe a tiny bit of mascara; she's tired. She doesn't want to be there and she shouldn't be; if Thanksgiving had gone as planned she'd have plenty of leftovers.

I think about going over to her, saying hi and asking how she's been. Somehow though I can't bring myself to do it. She looks depressed, teary-eyed and ready to lie down and sleep forever. I should be outraged, I should go to her house and call out that husband of hers, tell him he better take good care of her or he'll have me to deal with.

If I were really any sort of a threat I would; but what can a man with a cane do against a guy who was wanted for arson, murder, and kidnapping. Not much. Not even for her.

I keep dreaming
You'll be with me and you'll never go
Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore

I watch her for a while longer; must look like a stalker to the other customers as I follow her into the pharmacy section and watch her stare at pregnancy tests.

My heart skips a beat, and then cracks. I leave.

I walk out of that store with so many thoughts running through my head. First is; Could it be mine? Then comes; What if it isn't? And then; What'll happen to her if it is?

I'd take care of her. I'd apologize for making her life so hard; apologize for not being able to make everything better. For not getting to her first.

On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of Hell to hold your hand

Two days later I haven't been to work. Cuddy and Wilson are leaving messages on my answering machine non-stop and Cameron takes the easy way out and pounds on my door at all hours.

I haven't heard a damn thing from Amy.

Hope she's okay.

I'd give it all, I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
Cause you know
I love you, I've loved you all along
I miss you, been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go
Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore

Today it's raining; and all I can think about is how much she loves this weather. How she says that when she was younger she would swing in the rain, or just sit and think. She'd go inside, soaked to the bone and her mother would laugh, not knowing that Amy had even gone outside. I wonder if she's sitting in the rain today.

The streets have been mostly barren; it's raining too hard for much of anything to cause people to leave the security of their homes, their families. But down the street I hear tires; a car pulling itself along, wanting, needing to get somewhere. When it stops outside my building my heart stops with it.

But you know, you know
I want it, I want to hear you say
Cause I need it, I need to hear you say

I think I hear the front door open, though that seems absurd. Footsteps in the stairwell, then nothing. I sigh to myself, knowing that there's no use in hoping.

Until there's a knock at the door.

I move as fast as I can with my cane to unlatch and swing the door open. And just like that she's there. I can't tell if it's rain or tears that has her mascara running like that, making streaks down her face that only make her look even more beautiful in the hallways artificial light.

She's chewing her lip, her hair is wavy today and it's plastered against her head and neck despite her best efforts. Her black coat is drenched too, and as I take it all in I still can't believe that she's standing there in front of me. Looking like she's waited to come back here.

Waited to let me know.

I love you
I've loved you all along, and I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it, hold onto me and never let me go

"I love you," She whispers, but before she can finish I pull her to me and feel the water from her jacket seep into my clothes. I don't mind the cold, "And I'm pregnant."

Again my heart skips a beat, and even though my brain tells me to question whether everything is going to go how I want it to I push the thought away. Because right now she's with me, in my arms instead of his, and I will never let go.

Keep breathing, cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it, hold onto me and never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold onto me and never let me go
Hold onto me and never let me go


I do not own the lyrics to "Far Away" by Nickleback
And before any certain people freak out
Nothing is certain at this point =)
23rd-Nov-2006 08:52 pm - House's Entry
Amy the Vain
Thanksgiving was a disaster.

And I think it's pretty much all my fault.

First of all I lost a patient this morning. Around eight this morning they went into cardiac arrest because of the medication that I prescribed. I wasn't able to save them. No one at the hospital said anything but I saw the looks on their faces; even Cameron gave me a look that said she pitied me. I hate pity.

I went home, got into the shower and just sat for a while. The water worked wonders on my leg; it's been in a lot of pain for a few days now. I slid the door open to look at the clock at one point, it was about one in the afternoon, so I climbed out and went to get ready for Thanksgiving dinner at Amy's place. The first real Thanksgiving I've had since I was a kid, and it was brought to a crashing halt.

As I pulled into Amy's driveway I heard a crash from inside, thought it sounded like someone had thrown something, she still has yet to explain that. But Kristin's car was already there and I kind of guessed what had happened. Sure enough the girl came tearing out the house, her mascara and eyeliner mixing and running down her face.

I don't know what came over me. I'm usually not so compassionate, not so caring, this girl does things to me. But I grabbed my cane, and ignoring the pain, I moved as fast as I could toward her. She took a few steps and collapsed into me; it took all I had not to fall with her.

Olaf didn't come out of the house.

I never did feel okay letting her be with him again. I've worried about her since the moment she told me they were back together. So I held her to me and ran my hand through her hair while she sobbed into my shoulder.

"Take me to your place," She whispered.

Don’t ask me why I did it. I can resist a seventeen year old who practically pins me to a couch, but I can't resist a girl who needs me.

Or she seemed to.

When we got to my apartment she made a beeline for the couch, chucking her shoes at a wall. I ignored it; under any other circumstance I would've complained. Instead I just watched her flop down and burry her head in a pillow while I stuck two dinners in the oven. I moved to my piano and struck a chord.

She looked up, interested; she's always liked my piano playing abilities.

"There was a time," I sang, "I was everything and nothing all in one," She smiled, "When you found me, I was feeling like a cloud across the sun. I need to tell you, how you light up every second of the day. But in the moonlight, you just shine like a beacon on the bay."

She had moved by now, to sit next to me on the bench, her head on my shoulder. I honestly wasn't trying to seduce her, just let her know I cared, "And I can't explain, but there's something about the way you look tonight," I pulled back and looked down at her. Suddenly I was lost in her green eyes, she looked equally lost in my blue ones, "Takes my breath away," I whispered, "It's that feeling I get about you deep inside. And I can't describe, but there's something about the way you look tonight. Takes my breath away."

I kissed her. I don't know why I did it but I did it.

And it felt good.

I think this would classify me as a home wrecker.

With a smile, you pull the deepest secrets from my heart
In all honesty, I'm speechless and I don't know where to start
And I can't explain, but it's something about the way you look tonight
Takes my breath away
It's that feeling I get about you deep inside
And I can't describe, but it's something about the way you look tonight
Takes my breath away, the way you look tonight

I do not own the lyrics to the song "The Way You Look Tonight" by Elton John
23rd-Nov-2006 07:51 pm(no subject)
Amy the Vain
Thanksgiving was a disaster.

And it was pretty much all my fault.

Olaf and I woke this morning knowing full well that we had a busy day ahead. Greg and Kristin were coming to our place for dinner at around two that afternoon and we had to make sure we had most everything made before then. I figured it'd be nice, having two of our closest friends there for dinner with us, especially since neither of them have anywhere else to be today.

We were cooking up a storm in the kitchen, which had been made sanitary by me so that Kristin wouldn't pop an artery upon seeing it, and I realized we didn't have any sweet potatoes. House and I both adore sweet potatoes, so I hopped in the car and went to Hyvee to get some. Who would think Hyvee would be so damn packed on Thanksgiving; I suppose though I'm not the only one who's forgetful.

I got back home around twenty minutes later and when I walk into the kitchen what do I find?

Olaf. Feeding Kristin gravy. And her giggling like the idiot she is when someone's flirting with her.

And there were flowers.

So I blew a gasket and threw the can of yams at his head. And I walked out.

I had planned on just going to a motel until he came to find me and explain. But there was a problem. I'm too ruthless for my own good, and House was just parking his motorcycle in the driveway. By this time I'm sure there were tears all down my face, I wasn't thinking clearly.

Or was I?

He grabbed his cane and tried his best to run to me. I met him halfway and he hugged me while I collapsed into tears in his arms.

He took me back to his place.

And somewhere between the TV Thanksgiving dinners and him playing the piano I lost all sanity and we ended up in bed together. Now I don't know what to do. He cheated, I think, so I cheated out of spite, I think. Or did I cheat because I wanted to know what he felt like under all that gruff exterior and fabric? Who knows.

But now there's one man who I've let down, and another who probably thinks I'm giving up my marriage for him.

I don't know what to do.
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